Search the Zooiblog

Support this site.

The risks of bullshit

There are many unforeseen dangers in spreading bullshit, no matter whether it’s silly or meant to deceive. Aside from the more common issues—prosecution, Interpol search warrants, insults and threats at your address—there is still plenty of trouble left. It’d be great to be able to get back to the people punishing you for it, though. I think Galilei said it best when he said “e pur si muove!” I can’t see why anyone else would say that, anyhow.1 My Italian is flakey at best, for one.

Anyway, on to the show!

Three dangers you’ve surely not yet considered

  • Your bullshit gets published and millions upon millions buy, read and eat your stuff. Your word is taken for truth, and you are considered the supreme deity in your following’s rather monotheistic system. If you don’t believe in gods, that could be a problem. Also: sacrificial burning. Of goats. We don’t want that.
  • People will want to hire you to speak at college booze fests or birthday parties or book releases. Everyone laughs, and when it gets annoying, people will laugh more. Before you know it, you’re so fed up with being silly that you’ll end up an annoying old man (or woman, depending on your reproductive systems). A grumpy old man, who only complains about how the past was better—”in my day, an iPod was the best you got”; “nothing feels like the real thing: the tangibility and authenticity of ogg is still better than what you gat-dayum kids listen to these days!”
  • My theory on the movement of light2 takes a rapid acceleration in the world of science and it happens to be true. It will be immensely tough for me to explain myself, considering it’s 1) a joke and 2) not really based on anything, ever, in any way. Besides, I don’t do science. Pfft.

There are many unforeseen risks when you start out in the world of spreading bullshit. And someone got to take ‘em, I says.

  1. Sorry Jina!
  2. And I quote myself, “considering the discussion whether light consists of particles or is a system of waves, I hereby state that light is particles moving in waves.”

Internal quarrels, pt. 1

— “Hey, did you see that guy?”
“Which one?”
— “The one crossing the road, with the much shorter girl. The one with the iPod earbuds.”
“Um, yeah. What up with him?”
— “Don’t you think that’s kinda rude?”
“How d’you mean?”
— “You know, just… listening to music while talking to someone.”
“I can’t see why that’s an issue to you, Rob.”
— “Look, Other Me, it’s fairly damn simple. It’s just not decent to have earbuds in while talking.”
“Maybe they just met up? Maybe he was in the process of removing them to focus on the conversation instead.”
— “Didn’t look like it, methinks!”
“Admit it, Rob, it makes sense.”
— “It makes sense.”
“Well, there you go.”
— “…”
— “What iPod you reckon he has? I’m betting it’s a nano, the first gen.”
“Acts like a Windows user though.”
— “… You mean, in terms of behaviour? Are you saying my theory—”
“Let go alright!”

Grabbing on

Personal posts are not for everyone, but there may be words in here that you could cherish, or you may just like reading my mind as it is being set to words right here. This post is personal1, but relates to all of us, I’m sure of it. Do with it whatever you want.

The rise (no fall) and how to relax (no stress)

I suppose it is not news to most of you that discipline is power. I suppose, however, that finding one’s right interpretation of discipline is rather hard. A few months ago, I made up my mind. I said to myself, “Rob, there’s two things you must do. The one, it is that you chillax the fuck down, the two, don’t slack, you bastard.” I seem to harass myself pretty easily, but it worked out for the best. Taking things lighter will make things lighter to bear. I wish I’d known earlier.

Basically, not slacking is pretty easy. The key is knowing exactly what you want to do. Then it almost comes naturally.

Concepts and living with crap

School is a great place to practice one’s tolerance regarding differing opinions. It doesn’t matter whether they are nonsensical. You will have to deal with them either way. That’s good. What this achieves, more than just sparking your ire, is making you realise what to ignore. I am convinced that ignoring things keeps you sane, to a certain degree2.

Of course it’s not always easy. It’s also not exclusive to mere opinions. People are complex and inane and that is the truth you will be accepting, are you to choose the path of the clear mind. Practice, it’s the tool of kings and gods alike!

What, pray tell, is the one true medicine to this pesky problem, you could ask me. I would kindly tell you to relax. Chill. Chillax. Take it lighter because it’s not all worth your time, and your time is valuable, now isn’t it.

  1. Well, I slightly strayed from that objective, but it should do no person any harm. I’m friendly like that.
  2. I’ll leave it up to you whether I mean to what degree you should ignore things or how sane it will “keep” you. Spark-spark! I’m sparkin’ your mind!